


Tainted

by jejeje117



Category: The Haunting of Hill House (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 16:17:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16664059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jejeje117/pseuds/jejeje117
Summary: She's only ever tried to hide the ruin, and sometimes it's easier.





	Tainted

Rotten, right to the core, all the way down to the aching, gaping crag where her heart was supposed to sit. The others had always seen it in her, even the twins with their everlasting innocence, so after a while she’d worn it like armour.

Where have you been? Shirley would ask, and nothing Theo could say was an improvement on what was expected of her, so what did it matter?

It was a blessing that so many of Dr Crain’s clients seemed not to notice the mould that had to linger on her breath, the stench of pain and guilt and fear and shame that she’d never managed to scour off her tongue. The children did, children always knew, maybe that was why they let her close – she was too broken to damage them any more than they already had been.

Outside of the clinic, Theo wrapped herself in the callousness that didn’t come as easily as it needed to, until on some days the hurt hollowed her right out and left that rot her mother had tainted her with. It was a toss-up, how she fed the void. Most times, she found someone nice, uncomplicated, less damaged. She let down her walls and basked in borrowed contentment for far too little time and cut it away before she found herself wanting more. Before the gnarled branches of her own ruin could reach out and throttle someone who deserved better.

Trish wasn’t the right kind of nice, she was broken glass glued back into a shape that was nearly safe to handle. The sociology student was kind and compassionate enough, but Theo knew right away that there was pain enough to warrant cautiousness.

Maybe that was why she took the bait, at least the second or third cast around. Trish’s scars had healed better than Theo’s ever had, and there had to be some kind of trick to it.

After the third fix-the-fuck-up date, holding hands had seemed like cheating. For every secret Trish unknowingly spilled with an errant kiss or caress, Theo found herself whispering one right back, even if she could never impart the tidal waves of feelings that came with each touch.

_I hate the colour red. I don’t like picking things up. I know my clients too well, too early._

Theo isn’t any lighter for it, and Dr Crain isn’t any less broken, but Trish lets her plaster over the rot every once in a while without once giving in to the wreck and ruin that had always seemed inevitable… and the paint job is enough to fool even detective Shirley.

**Author's Note:**

> This show broke my heart, and I can't fix it, but I can give my favourite character a fighting chance. Maybe.


End file.
